Girls and Boys
by iloveflyingmotorbikes
Summary: When Fred Weasley shows up outside of Hermione's house, in front of her Muggle cousin, Hermione feels she has no other choice. She quickly makes up a cover story, but it may not actually help.
1. Chapter 1

Summer vacation was, and remains, my least favorite time of the year. Besides just being away from my friends, simply living a Muggle life is often much harder then living a magical one, even if you've grown up doing things the Muggle way. Things go slower, you have to do everything by hand, and when you get an unwanted blemish on your nose before a big date, you have to cover it up as best you can via Muggle makeup. These things all frustrated me for different reasons. But the number one reason I hated summer, was Robin. Robin was my cousin, a year older than me, who was almost my complete opposite. She knew about the magical world, having been present when my Hogwarts letter was delivered almost 6 years ago, but she detested magic and refused to have any part of me for weeks after I had returned from Hogwarts, instead choosing to let me "air myself out", as she put it. But, if I was ever to see my parents, I had to put up with Robin for a few weeks, before I could escape to my friend's house, The Burrow.

Despite what people seemed to think, I despised morning. The sun would rise, and it had always seemed a little too pleased with itself, oddly cheeky for a great big ball of gas. I loved staying up all hours of the night, going to bed right before the sun poked its highly obnoxious nose out. So when, one day, I was awakened by the sharp, shrill voice of Robin, shrieking something about there being boys but nothing to wear, I was highly disgruntled. I sat up, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and attempted to focus on the tall, blonde tornado that was ripping its way through my closet, holding clothes up to herself and quickly discarding them on the floor.

"Wuz going on?" I whined, still sleepy, and not pleased with having to get up at an ungodly morning hour. In my opinion, the noon hours were much more welcoming to awake to.

"Shhh!" she hissed at me, peeking out my front window, and then running back to my closet, finally settling on a small pink cami and a black pair of shorts that had fit me comfortably when I was 12. She quickly exchanged her clothing for mine and left hers on a pile on my floor. She went back to the window and slowly drew back the curtain. I got out of my bed and stood amidst the pile of clothes that had been discarded. I picked up a shoe and threw it at the back of her head. I missed and it landed on the desk next to her. She shrieked and then hissed at me to be quiet.

"Robin," I began politely, as if I hadn't just tried to accost her with a shoe, "What the bloody hell, are you doing in my room?" As I said, I wasn't at my most polite in the mornings.

"There are boys." She answered. "Cute boys! And they're just pacing in front of the house. Both of them!" She sounded much too excited. I didn't find this an adequate reason to wake me up.

"I suppose they're here to see me." She announced.

I grumbled. I should still be asleep.

"They can't be here for Aunt Jean or Uncle Henry, and as cute as they are, they certainly aren't here for you..." she deducted.

That got my attention.

"Why wouldn't they be here for me?" I asked loudly. I shoved her aside to peek out the window. Indeed, two boys were pacing in front of my house, both wearing hats that covered their faces.

"You can't see their faces." I pointed out. "How do you know they're cute?"

She looked at me as if I was the dumbest person on the face of the Earth.

"You don't need to see their faces to know they're stunning." She scoffed.

I eyed her, confused, but not wanting to admit it.

She rolled her eyes, "All you need to see is their arses." She giggled and looked at me. She could see that I still didn't understand.

"Well you can tell they're quite fit, can't you?"

I looked down at the boys again. I suppose they were fairly fit.

"I'm going to go say hello, maybe invite them in." She said, giggling. She turned out of my room and trampled down the stairs. I ran after her, hoping to see her fail in her attempts to seduce the two boys.

Robin opened the door a crack, and then, obviously having gained the boys attention, opened it wider. "Can I help you?" she asked in a simpering voice.

"Erm...yes." came a deep voice, that I immediately recognized.

"Is Hermione here?" came another voice, a voice that always accompanied the first voice.

But they couldn't be here. They couldn't be the cute boys that were pacing my house. Fred and George Weasley were not outside my house!


	2. Chapter 2

Robin looked taken aback.

"Hermione?" she asked, stunned.

"Er…ya?" came Fred's voice through the open door.

Why were they here? Why, in the name of Merlin's froggy green underpants, were they here?

Robin stepped back from the door and opened it enough to let it show that I was there. I stepped into the doorway and gawked. Both twins stood there, a little awkwardly, and grinned at me. I had just had a whole discussion about the Weasley twins and how fit their arses were. I blushed and didn't look either of them in the eye.

"Robin…this is my…" I was stunned. But then Robin looked at me, obviously pleased that I was at a loss for words and obviously planning to return to her original plot of inviting them in. She could tell that I was uncomfortable. I could feel my temper rise. I never did make my best decisions when I was angry.

"Boyfriend." I decided. The twins looked at each other and then back at me, obviously confused.

"So if you could just excuse us," I said, grabbing the hand of the nearest twin, and running for it.

I could hear the twin I had left behind start to guffaw and as I looked back, Robin looked stunned. Good.

"Which one are you?" I asked quietly as I ran up the stairs.

"Fred." He whispered back. "But Hermione—"

I had shoved his head towards mine and roughly kissed him. We stumbled back toward the wall, where I knew Robin could see us, and I landed rather uncomfortably on a picture frame. He leant into the kiss and I pulled away.

"Fred!" I squealed in the most girly and giggly voice I could muster.

He looked even more surprised than he had when I had proclaimed him my boyfriend. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my room. He couldn't have looked more confused. I shoved him against the door and giggled his name again.

"Hermione, what are-"

"I need her to think we're snogging in here so if you could just do me a favor and moan my name, fairly loudly. Please." I added. Just because I was accosting the poor boy didn't mean I couldn't be polite.

He looked at me, confused, but then, looking me straight in the eyes, gruffly moaned and then said, in what was definitely the most erotic way I had ever heard my name said, "Hermione."

I blushed, but then I grinned.

We stood awkwardly against the door for several minutes, one of us occasionally calling the other's name.

"We don't want to leave those two down there all alone, do we?" I asked after about five minutes had gone by.

Fred turned to leave the room, but I caught him. I pulled out his shirt from his pants and rumpled it as best I could. I ran my fingers through his hair, giving him the most "I just snogged Hermione Granger" look that I could give him. I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm.

"You wouldn't look perfect if we'd just snogged, either." He pointed out.

"I'm a very handsy kisser." He said grinning.

"Good point." I said as I shook my hair out of its bun. I had morning hair anyway. I pulled my shirt up and tried to rumple it.

We deemed each other presentable and walked down the stairs, where I could see George looking highly amused and Robin looking appalled.

"Sorry about that," I said. I jumped as I felt Fred's arm snake its way around my waist. I blushed heavily, adding to George's amusement.

"Robin, this is my boyfriend, Fred Weasley. And his brother, George. They are, oh how did you put it? Quite fit."

Robin blushed an ugly splotchy red as the twins tried very hard not to laugh at my phrasing.

"Excuse us please, dear cousin. We have things to talk about." I dragged Fred up the stairs for the second time that morning. I was about half way up the stairs when I realized that George wasn't following. I turned and gestured for him to come up.

"Oh!" He said, surprised. "I didn't realize I was invited this time. This should be fun!" He bounded up the stairs after us. I shoved them both in my room, and locked the door behind us.

"Well, Granger, Freddie," George began, "How long was I going to be kept in the dark about this great love story?"

I blushed and smacked his shoulder.

Fred didn't say anything, instead staring at the edge of my bed. I looked where he had directed a very intense gaze.

"Oh my God!" I shrieked. My bra was hanging off the post of my bed. I leapt for the bed, grabbing the bra and stuffing it under my pillow, which I then sat on. I blushed, trying to compose myself.

Fred snapped out of his daze.

"Georgie, I wasn't sure when I was going to be told about this relationship. Granger, when were you going to tell me we were in such a "throw each other against doors" relationship? Because it would have been a shame if we'd been in it for a while, and I'd never taken that opportunity."

George grinned.

"Better question," I proclaimed from my bed as I tried to compose myself. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

"Well Granger, I would have thought it was obvious. We're here to see you!" George said grinning.


End file.
